Here’s the heavy metal ballet opening, with ballerina Darcey Bussell flying in on a flaming phoenix

Canada’s athletes wore CANADIAN TUXEDOS

This is just madness, the final notes:

SCANDAL: THESE AREN’T BRITISH CARS!!!

#closingceremonydirectorfail

TOO MANY DRUGS

Cool BELT BUCKLE GEORGE

I recognize my fellow Irish by our propensity to lay down on the job

MY GOD THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL HAVING IDEAS SIMULTANEOUSLY