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Here’s the heavy metal ballet opening, with ballerina Darcey Bussell flying in on a flaming phoenix

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Canada’s athletes wore CANADIAN TUXEDOS

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This is just madness, the final notes:

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SCANDAL: THESE AREN’T BRITISH CARS!!!

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#closingceremonydirectorfail

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TOO MANY DRUGS

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Cool BELT BUCKLE GEORGE

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I recognize my fellow Irish by our propensity to lay down on the job

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MY GOD THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL HAVING IDEAS SIMULTANEOUSLY